Weekend … what a feeling! Silenced alarm clock .. though awake, lazing in bed has its own charm and smile .. very relaxed movements when you are up and about in the house …

Last weekend started with the same tempo. And then, while brunching, there was a "tring tring" … come on, you caller, not today .. it’s our day off .. please, please no calls, not today .. but then how is the caller to read my mind? .. they can’t even read my lips .. hmm, let me shoo them right away .. at least for that, I had to lift the phone.

“Hello?”, couldn’t hide that little tinge of annoyance in my voice.
“Hi you chirpy worm picker”

Wow, what a pleasant shock .. I was always the earliest riser in our group, when in college .. so, was known as an early bird that always got the stupid early worm. But D was the only one who would actually call me "chirpy worm picker" - on the same lines as "woody wood pecker" ….. and he was at the other end, that very moment, after almost 8-10 years of no contact. Great! My annoyance melted into streams of excitement.

We graduated together, but he settled with a nice job in India while I was sailing around the world, as if with wanderlust, shortly after the graduation. We both married at almost the same time but went about our own ways. And now he is here .. got a great job offer, so couldn’t resist.

Excitedly, I invited him, with family, to join us for lunch.

Beers and soft drinks .. old jokes, college memories .. teasing each other and families .. and happy laughter.

He was known to be highly patriotic .. ‘Bharat mata ki jai’, type. Now he and family becoming NRI’s! .. what a transformation .. that rolled our chats into that topic.

I naughtily reminded him that he used to brand us NRIs, the Non-Resident Indians, as “Not Required Indians”.

“True, but can’t I change my mind, and experience what you Never Returning Indians experience?” … hey, yes, you can change your mind, but how can you brand us NRIs so ridiculously – the Never Returning Indians?

“Well, will you return to the home land, while you are still young and able, to help the nation and development there?”, his quest.
“Are we not helping the nation with all our remittances? And what about you now?”, my counter quest.
“I have come on a period-contract posting and will surely return”, his assertion.
“We intend to go back after 3 years. But not all do it. My own cousin found a job in Australia 4 years ago. He was an intelligent, scholastic person, great achiever but wasn’t happy with his job and position in India. He just got married in Australia and is well settled there. Very happy now. The social, political and employment systems in India frustrated him. He calls himself NRI, the Never Recognized Indian!” .. this from D’s bolder and better half!

Hadn’t thought ‘NRI’ would have such a nuance too.

“But so many intellectuals work so happily in India. In fact, India is getting economically much better now”, I dropped my information into the chat.

“Yes, that’s for sure. But once people start getting good money, they forget about the others. They suddenly transform into a different life style and start behaving as bad as the political leaders. One of her uncles is making a huge fortune through IT contracts, though he himself can’t program even a lunch for two people”, this was D.

That one made me wonder about the possible connection of IT program with lunch program. Oh well, I don’t understand many things. This must be one of them.

D’s wife made eyes at him and said. “We call him also, an NRI, the Nouveau Rich Indians .. the high brow!” … Hey, there goes another nice one .. it sure raised laughter too.

“But the auntie, this uncle’s wife, is real social and easy-going and helpful, unlike him”. This came from D, probably trying to make up for his earlier needling remark about his wife’s uncle.

“So, we call the auntie NRI too, one of the Nice and Rational Indians!” .. D’s wife! ... Another bout of laughter follows.

“You know what?”, D butts in.
“What?”, I ask.
“We were joking about this NRI stuff some six months back. Her ‘mama’ (maternal uncle) is an American last 30 years. We call him and his friends NRIs too .. Never Returning Indians !”

Wow. Some more NRI’s.

So far my wife was quietly listening to the chats and laughing. Now she joins in. “Many young people are actually going back to India, these days, for good. My colleague at the clinic mentioned that there’s a joke going in India on that. They call such people ‘Newly Returning Indians’. One of his nephews is one such!”

The NRI list was building up.

She continued, “But many of our friends here had bad experiences when they went holidaying to India. They say, by and large, people behave distant and not-so-nice towards anyone who lives abroad. Why are most people in India so touchy about NRIs? From the stories we hear, people in India appear so much against all who have had chance to work overseas. Many don’t waste a chance to criticize NRIs.”

D’s wife took this bait. “Most people in India are a cynical lot, in general, no age bar. Many become neurotic and super-critical due to constant struggle they experience. They cant really relax because of tensions in daily routines”.

“So, then, they are the ones who are NRI’s, the Neurotic Restless Indians, until they become real NRIs, the non-resident ones!” .. I joked with my own composition, and then noticed D and wife going seriously speechless. I hadn’t thought about the possible nasty aspect of my punch line.

But it was too late by then, and the sudden silence hinted that it was time for a friendly lunch to be served!