it was such a nice dinner eve at their residence . and then the talks had slowly turned into relating the not-so-nice experiences . satish was normally quite and smiley .. vidya was always more boisterous and chatty .

some crunches always come in life. haven't heard of anyone not ever having experienced any. yet, i always get confused about what's a crunch .. it seems to cover a range of difficulties in love, money, compatibility, relationship values, and a whole lot more. a crunch situation for one may be just a passing inconvenience for another. isn't "crunch" just the way one looks at it?

back to vidya and satish.

"so what colors were your friends then?" my innocent query. don't know why vidya suddenly went white in the face. after a few seconds of pondering, she returns with, "I would say, they were dark grey with black spots, just like a hyena .. and just as coward!"

ohhhhhhhhh . strong one, that retort, and quite unique, i must say, to represent the people's colors through animals!

"i'm in blue mood today .. so, please pat, don't try joking me into smiles .. i won't ... and for your information, stay away from me, else you will know how red hot my anger is!!" . achala, my college buddy, had said to me one evening when we were studying for engineering. why? .. i wondered .. may be, she had just broken up with her bf for the eighteenth time, or may be she didn't do too well in our weekly tutorial .. after her colorful and "temperature" laden smack to me, i didn't dare to find out.

but that was the time i learned that emotions can be steeped in colors. what color was my emotion then? i think, i was always color blind.

in one of the "people to people" get-togethers at my university in the USA, i was asked what my favourite color was! . had never thought about it before that.

my favourite color? .. hmm, ok .. i always preferred white when i was peaceful with myself, and went for black when i was hopelessly melancholic. my favourite color was orange when i was joking and laughing (which was most times), red when i had made some blunderous silly mistake and felt that i would be punished. i did turn green when someone scored more than me. i loved yellow when i felt bright and helped my pals out. blue? .. um, yup, my preference went for pale blue when it came to selecting my dress shirts for boardroom presentations. you see, i don't have just ONE favourite color. strange me indeed.

just the other day, we were talking about one of my pals making a deal with another pal of his with some money passing hands .. and a lawyer pal among us insisted that the deal be recorded in "black and white" .. yes, yes .. the process too needed to be colored right.

for me, the UAE is a black and white country .. the women wear black, the men were white .. i wouldn't dare checking what colors they wear underneath.

for me, the USA is a black, white and green country .. for their clear race orientation and money mindedness (dollars are "green"-backs).

for me, India is really colorful .. it has all shades and tints in geographics, demographics, regionalities, personalities and varieties.

you get me?

Last 2-3 weeks were really hectic. I changed the job and that sums it all.

Both, handing over the responsibilities in the previous job and taking over in the new one, have their serious and fun aspects. The unforgettable bits were those few minutes of send-off that one gets from those dear colleagues with whom one has built relationships over the period of work engagement.

I was known for not ever giving straight answers to "extra-curricular" questions, but I was also known to be a very "sensible" person that can be trusted for his judgement (I can proudly say so) in official matters! I had my own outlandish views too which used to entertain colleagues during fun interactions.

So, will they lose a chance of "leg pulling" at my send off? No way! They insisted that I answered some of the questions that I had always avoided answering.

Oh yes, I said, but I will only answer five. No more, no less.
Ok, they said.

Didn't know they were prepared with their list. So I stood up to bat the bouncers. Yet, on hind sight, they must have been considerate about what was to be pitched at me. I didn't know, until a week later, that my replies were recorded and circulated .. wow!

Here's the synopsis of the recording I got from a close pal.

ˇ You always talked about "Good Sense". What's "nonsense" for you?

Hmm, nonsense for me is someone else's good sense that makes no sense to me. Ok ok, jokes apart, I will rephrase it thus : for any given situation, it's a misplaced sense that will be "good sense" in another situation. You get the sense?

ˇ If you had the sixth sense, what would it be ?

It would be sort of Sense of Wisdom that will tell me at any time in any situation what to do in line with my persona, how to be at peace with myself and the prevalent surroundings, and how to journey the path of happiness. I will surely not want sixth sense to read unexpressed minds of others because that will lead me along the path of confusion and unhappiness.

ˇ Do you support Women's Liberation ?

Hey,what age you guys belong to? Ask this question to Libbers' MCP.

ˇ Just answer the question. Forget about piggish attitude!

Ok, Ok .. I support not only women's but everyone's liberation from the notional barriers imposed by people on themselves. Women's Liberation movement was started with a focus on social equality and justice for women. But I think we need to go much beyond that. To achieve what the movement aimed at, it would be essential to liberate men too from their thinking and behavioral barriers. In fact, everyone needs to liberate themselves for self actualisation.

ˇ What's self actualisation ?

Self actualisation means functioning to one's potential while being true to one's persona and soul, and without feelings of fear, guilt, shame or false pride. People like Sant Meerabai, Mahatma Gandhi, Baba Amte are classic examples how one can achieve self actualisation.

ˇ Do you believe that "Ignorance is Bliss"?

Well, yes and no. It is not possible not to be ignorant in a huge ocean of knowledge. Ignorance is a bliss where half knowledge might be dangerous or misleading. It is a bliss when knowledge generates negative or destructive emotions. But it is not a bliss if it comes to hurt someone badly. It is not a bliss if ignorance stunts one's mental and spiritual growth. And it's surely not a bliss if one is not enlightened even when they can and should.

Hey, this is what I had blurted out, unprepared. Couldn't be as relaxed as I would have been normally. There was an emotional pressure at those moments. Please try to make some sense out of it, your way, if possible. It wasn't easy at the time of send-off.

You gotta trust me .. I am a sensible guy otherwise!

You see, no matter how happily a man is married, he does get older, shorter, paler and less handsome after marriage. At least, that's what seems to happen to men, judging by the gossip chats of our friends of fairer sex.

Any way. One day I was asked by one of our Directors to make a presentation on my ideas on Performance Improvement, both at individual level and for the corporation as a whole.

That's when my Boss took an opportunity to "train" me for the presentation.

"Buy a nice suit. Afterall, you will be in front of senior people. May be, I will go with you to help you choose a proper suit." The Boss.

"No boss, it's ok. I can manage. I have some friends in the hospitality field and they can help me with impressive wardrobe options." Me, politely. How else could I get to avoid the Boss interfering with my dress sense!

"What do those young kids know? Listen. I will make sure you appear prim and proper and impressive. I have a lot of experience with such things. I will guide you on the spot". The Boss insisted.

"No Boss. It's ok. My Brother-In-Law is a director of a company and he always helps me in corporate matters". On the spur of the moment, I invented this new person who did not exist in reality and offered that I offered as a last chance to avoid having to go shopping with the Boss. Actually, I didn't want go buying new suits at that time. I always knew what I had was good enough for the occasion, pin-stripes and deeper shade and corporate color neckties et al.

"Oh, then may be, that's a chance for me to meet your Corporate Director Brother-In-Law. Let him join us. We can go tomorrow straight after office." The Boss didn't know how to take a subtle "No".

"Ok. let me ask him and I'll let you know tomorrow". I tricked the Boss and bought some time for my escape.

"Ok, done. I will help you all the way with this presentation. I will also help you prepare it right and modify your ideas to a perfection of Corporate implementation". The Boss now changed the direction.

Actually, the director had heard all my ideas and concepts at least a month earlier during his one-on-one staff meetings. He had appreciated them and had asked me to write him a note covering each of the ideas from the concept to implementation plan, which I had done. He then organized a meeting for me to make a presentation to a small group of management people that can assist in reviewing, modifying and implementing the ones that had merit.

I didn't know if the Boss knew this background, but the Director had written a memo for me to make this presentation and copied it to my Boss for information. This is where my Boss had stepped in.

That evening, before going home, the Boss "casually" walked past my cubicle and "informally" remarked that I had done some good work and that he would help me polish my presentation to perfection. He also mentioned that it would add lot more value if I mentioned that the presentation had helpful inputs from him.

"Do mention my name during your presentation. It would carry more weightage later during the implementation". The Boss had rubbed it in before exiting for home that evening.

The next morning, the Boss came over to know the time to go out with my BIL (Bro-In-Law) and me for my suit shopping. I was prepared. I told him, that my BIL had spared time the previous eve and had taken me out shopping. So thanks for the Boss' offer to help.

"Ok. I can at least help you with the presentation. You can mention that I have gone through all your thoughts & ideas, and have reviewed and polished them, which will add greatly to your credibility. Let me know when you are ready with your draft". The Boss never gives up a chance to get his name dropped among higher-ups.

"Ok". I said, but I got a fairly good idea then as to the motive behind it all.

Just three days for the presentation. I was well prepared but I also had created another mock presentation that looked like a draft. The latter was for the Boss to see.

I knew he would ask for it just a day or two before the presentation day, and he did just that. I gave him the second one, the mock draft version. No concept was clarified in that version. He was happy to get it from me.

Next day, at lunch time, a colleague came looking for me. With a great urgency he took me aside and informed me that my draft presentation, that I had given to the Boss, was really bad. He explained that the Boss had shown it to quite a few people and had said that he would have to work hard to really help me. Ha ha.

In the evening, going home, I bumped into the Director's secretary. She casually mentioned that my Boss had been over to see her boss. Apparently, my Boss wanted to postpone the presentation so he could get time to work on it and polish it properly. She said, her boss had refused to change the schedule.

The Boss visited me early the following day, just the day prior to the presentation. He mentioned that my work required lot of review, rework and doing-up. Since we didn't have enough time for all that, he suggested that I requested for postponement.

I was laughing inside, but said, "But Boss, I thought you said you would help me out on that".

"Yes, I did. But this requires lot of re-work and we don't have time for that. So I suggest that you request for a schedule change. Go see the Director now." The Boss advised.

A little later, I sauntered over to the director's office just to say 'Hi' to his secretary. What a charming gal she was and such a beautiful smile. While briefly chatting with her, I came to know that the Director had outside meetings the whole day that day.

Just before lunch, the Boss came to check if I had requested for a schedule change.

"No Boss, the Director is out the whole day today, so I'm afraid I will have to go through with the presentation as scheduled". I said showing a fake concern.

The Boss thought it over for a few moments. "Oh I see. But I must tell you, you have to rework on it a lot. Unfortunately, I don't have time today, so I'm afraid you would have to do it all by yourself. Please make sure that you mention that these are all your ideas and also clarify that for a lack of time you couldn't go over them with me". The Boss had an exact 180 degree turn now with his approach. Ha ha.

"Oh Boss. But you had said that you would .". I played my game.

"Yes, I had said but you were not ready with the draft earlier. Were you? Unfortunately I don't have time today, else I would have taken the responsibility. May be, your BIL can help". The Boss had clearly hinted at NOT mentioning his name during my presentation and also that I should look for help from BIL, who didn't exist.

The presentation went real well the next day. I got kudos for the concepts and the plans too. The Boss was present and felt flabbergasted.

After the presentation, he (the Boss) congratulated me on "the finest suit I was wearing, the finest concepts I had documented and the finest presentation, ever".

"Your BIL helped you really well. Do thank him for me". The Boss was still at his game.

"No Boss, BIL didn't. He is out of town the last 3 days on business". I beamed with a smile.

The Boss wouldn't have slept well that night. He did appear drowsy the next day in the office.

Weekend . what a feeling! Silenced alarm clock .. though awake, lazing in bed has its own charm and smile .. very relaxed movements when you are up and about in the house .

Last weekend started with the same tempo. And then, while brunching, there was a "tring tring" . come on, you caller, not today .. it's our day off .. please, please no calls, not today .. but then how is the caller to read my mind? .. they can't even read my lips .. hmm, let me shoo them right away .. at least for that, I had to lift the phone.

"Hello?", couldn't hide that little tinge of annoyance in my voice.
"Hi you chirpy worm picker"

Wow, what a pleasant shock .. I was always the earliest riser in our group, when in college .. so, was known as an early bird that always got the stupid early worm. But D was the only one who would actually call me "chirpy worm picker" - on the same lines as "woody wood pecker" ... and he was at the other end, that very moment, after almost 8-10 years of no contact. Great! My annoyance melted into streams of excitement.

We graduated together, but he settled with a nice job in India while I was sailing around the world, as if with wanderlust, shortly after the graduation. We both married at almost the same time but went about our own ways. And now he is here .. got a great job offer, so couldn't resist.

Excitedly, I invited him, with family, to join us for lunch.

Beers and soft drinks .. old jokes, college memories .. teasing each other and families .. and happy laughter.

He was known to be highly patriotic .. 'Bharat mata ki jai', type. Now he and family becoming NRI's! .. what a transformation .. that rolled our chats into that topic.

I naughtily reminded him that he used to brand us NRIs, the Non-Resident Indians, as "Not Required Indians".

"True, but can't I change my mind, and experience what you Never Returning Indians experience?" . hey, yes, you can change your mind, but how can you brand us NRIs so ridiculously the Never Returning Indians?

"Well, will you return to the home land, while you are still young and able, to help the nation and development there?", his quest.
"Are we not helping the nation with all our remittances? And what about you now?", my counter quest.
"I have come on a period-contract posting and will surely return", his assertion.
"We intend to go back after 3 years. But not all do it. My own cousin found a job in Australia 4 years ago. He was an intelligent, scholastic person, great achiever but wasn't happy with his job and position in India. He just got married in Australia and is well settled there. Very happy now. The social, political and employment systems in India frustrated him. He calls himself NRI, the Never Recognized Indian!" .. this from D's bolder and better half!

Hadn't thought 'NRI' would have such a nuance too.

"But so many intellectuals work so happily in India. In fact, India is getting economically much better now", I dropped my information into the chat.

"Yes, that's for sure. But once people start getting good money, they forget about the others. They suddenly transform into a different life style and start behaving as bad as the political leaders. One of her uncles is making a huge fortune through IT contracts, though he himself can't program even a lunch for two people", this was D.

That one made me wonder about the possible connection of IT program with lunch program. Oh well, I don't understand many things. This must be one of them.

D's wife made eyes at him and said. "We call him also, an NRI, the Nouveau Rich Indians .. the high brow!" . Hey, there goes another nice one .. it sure raised laughter too.

"But the auntie, this uncle's wife, is real social and easy-going and helpful, unlike him". This came from D, probably trying to make up for his earlier needling remark about his wife's uncle.

"So, we call the auntie NRI too, one of the Nice and Rational Indians!" .. D's wife! ... Another bout of laughter follows.

"You know what?", D butts in.
"What?", I ask.
"We were joking about this NRI stuff some six months back. Her 'mama' (maternal uncle) is an American last 30 years. We call him and his friends NRIs too .. Never Returning Indians !"

Wow. Some more NRI's.

So far my wife was quietly listening to the chats and laughing. Now she joins in. "Many young people are actually going back to India, these days, for good. My colleague at the clinic mentioned that there's a joke going in India on that. They call such people 'Newly Returning Indians'. One of his nephews is one such!"

The NRI list was building up.

She continued, "But many of our friends here had bad experiences when they went holidaying to India. They say, by and large, people behave distant and not-so-nice towards anyone who lives abroad. Why are most people in India so touchy about NRIs? From the stories we hear, people in India appear so much against all who have had chance to work overseas. Many don't waste a chance to criticize NRIs."

D's wife took this bait. "Most people in India are a cynical lot, in general, no age bar. Many become neurotic and super-critical due to constant struggle they experience. They cant really relax because of tensions in daily routines".

"So, then, they are the ones who are NRI's, the Neurotic Restless Indians, until they become real NRIs, the non-resident ones!" .. I joked with my own composition, and then noticed D and wife going seriously speechless. I hadn't thought about the possible nasty aspect of my punch line.

But it was too late by then, and the sudden silence hinted that it was time for a friendly lunch to be served!

one : my last fight with mom was when i was twenty. real bad. we weren't talking for a week after that.

two : i too had bad fights. my mom was over-protective and as a boy, and also as a man, i hated it.

three : i couldn't fight. i am adopted and myfamily wud tag me "ingrate" if i fought with my mom. o man. it's ok for you guys to fight with your moms.

two : hey, no! .. they call me "cruel" because i fight my dominant mom.

one : i never fought with mom after that last fight. now my wife calls me "mother's boy".

four : i had fights with mom after my marriage, but i never fought with my wife though. now my mom calls me "henpecked".

.. men .. no win, ever!

office hours tea break ... me enjoying a cappuccino, sharing a table with a spritely 25-yr she-colleague, the sprite ... she was describing her hubby's photography passion.

an adonis ... in his late twenties ... passing by our table, overhears part of the sprite's narration (".wud be abs naked, for effect, reflecting the candle light in a stark darkness ... in a very close-up pic .."). instantly, he turns back and sits down at the table.

adonis : hey, why show ur pix just to him (me!)? i too will be happy to appreciate those pix.

sprite : what? .. oh, the pix that my hubby takes?

adonis : yea! . yea yea .. u so gorgeous.. and i wud love to see those pix ... wow!

sprite : i was telling him (me!) that my hubby wants to create a cat eye semblance in the human eye, the vertical shining iris .. right? . so he wants to take pix of my one eye in total darkness with a lit candle in front. i wud wear no eye make up, no mascara, no lashes. so, as I was telling him (me!), the EYE wud be abs naked, for effect, reflecting the candle light in a stark darkness for a very close-up pic. the candle flame wud then appear in my EYE like a cat's shining iris.

adonis : u meant, naked eye, E-Y-E? .. oops .. i thought, u said "I". what an anticlimax!

sprite : get lost, u lecher!

ha ha !

overheard a woman colleague talking on phone :

"my body did 'auto shut down' yesterday .. sheer exhaustion . couldn't get into 'sleep mode' . quietly lying down was painful in the head .. mental 'virus'!

"didn't remember what i was supposed to do in the evening .. i think, i need new housing, 'new chip' for my mother board and total 'reformatting'!"

HE : happy independence day

SHE : hey, thanx .. and the same to you too

HE : thanx. what's ur independence day resolution?

SHE : excuse me? . meaning what?

HE : simple! .. what have you resolved today to be independent in?

SHE : hey, hadn't thought that way. do people come up with a resolution like that on independence days?

HE : hmm .. may be not. but why can't they? .. so asking you, if you were to adopt a new resolution to be independent, what wud it be?

SHE : umm .. let's see. yes, i wud have a resolution .. but do i have to tell you? can i trust u enough to tell you?

HE : yes, you can .. tell me anything. i shall die with it.

SHE : ok then. i resolve to be independent and have a nice boyfriend.

HE : but you are a married woman. you can't make that kinda resolution.

SHE : then tell me what kinda resolution i can make. tell me two.

HE : ok. i will give you two examples ... one, i will learn to independently change punctured tyre . two, umm let's see .. yes. two, i will learn to independently manage weekly grocery shopping.

SHE : ok, now i understand. what's your resolution then?

HE : mine is simple really. i will be financially independent all my life.

SHE : aren't you already?

HE : in a way, yes ! .. but what i mean is, i will not take small bank loans.

SHE : hey, as a married man, you gotta think on a larger scale.

HE : for example?

SHE : will give you two examples, to be fair, ok? .. how about, one .. i will learn to do all household chores so i can handle them regularly independently! then two ... i will die independently and carry with me all the secrets that others entrusted to me!

HE : ha ha .. you must be kidding! .. ok, nice talking to you. gotta go!

DVD ! . yes, but I'm not talking mainly about the high-tech stuff here .. want to introduce an interesting personality, who our friend circle knew by these name initials, to you all ..

Ok, just so that you don't try to find her (yes, HER!) in your six globally acceptable and sanctioned connections, I'm going to stay with DVD .. no expansion, no contraction, else the clever ones can and will google the personal id.

Since the school days, DVD was known as a tomboyish rebel character .. verrrrry innovative, verrrrrry intelligent, verrrrrry outlandish in views and verrrrrry entertaining for us students, that is but sort of a problem for teachers, who tended to transfer that problem promptly to her home folks through complaints. You see, she used to get "special treatment" of staying back after school hours for her practical pranks! But she was so intelligent that competing with her in academics was a challenge for us all.

.. we left school and got going along our own paths to future life. Then personal contacts with most of us, guys and gals, got lost or faded away in the new pursuits, dreams, successes and failures of the moments that greeted us along those paths .. but whenever we thought of DVD, the memories always forged a real smile and an occasional laughter.

Then years-into-the-adulthood later, suddenly bumping into her was a great fun .. and what an instance it happened .

While on a holiday back home with family, we heard a loud scream and shout of a lady from a running car, a jeep .. "bachaao bachaao ." (help, help!) .. everyone turned and saw the car whiz past us turning into the road bend and a female hand outstretched. People immediately shouted for the police, who was luckily standing nearby. The police jumped into his van and went chasing the car. We stood watching the chase. By this time, the woman's car was way ahead but couldn't race further due to the traffic light. Then to our utter surprise, it veered round, took a U-turn at the light (which was luckily green for the U-turn) and came back on the road towards us with the police van in tow some distance behind.

The car stopped where we were. A good crowd had gathered by then around there. The car stopped. The woman jumped out. The police van too speedily came near it.

The woman was still saying "bachaao". With a serious countenance, she looked at us all and pointed to the driver. That moment we saw two small children in the back seat, saying "mommy please come in".

The woman was well dressed, seemed educated and from a well-to-do family. Then with a faint smile she said, "that's my husband. I want that 'barf ka gola' (ice ball on a stick)" .. she pointed to the hawker cart nearby .. all looked at the hawker and his gola cart.

She continued, "but that my dear hubby there, in car, wouldn't let me have it. He says, the water used for that ice gola is unhygienic. He always forces his views on me, I want someone to bachao me."

The hubby stepped out. "sorry guys, this wife of mine has a habit of playing practical jokes. I promised to give her a gola at a decent café where I can be sure of more hygienic procedures. She insists on this gola, but I'm not giving her this even if the police orders me. Sorry guys, I wanted to let you all know that, so I turned around."

Both hubby and wife started laughing. Their children were laughing too. The looks on the faces of the onlookers and the police were real watchable now shock, smiles, laughter all mixed together!.

I was aghast .. wow, what a way to bump into DVD .. and the old habits die hard!

We met. And stories of more outlandish pranks came out from the hubby. Seems, on one such evening outing during another weekend, they came across a street stall selling artistic-shaped vivid colored balloons. DVD insisted on buying a dozen different kinds. Hubby discarded the idea, even their children were out of the balloon-playing age.

But DVD insisted and when hubby wouldn't budge, she started crying loudly on the street, like small kids, in full view of the onlookers. People gathered and when they came to know about her joke, they got the balloon seller to give her one. He obliged smilingly, with one of the most magnificent balloons free for her prank.

There were many more .. but it's better to hear about them first hand from her hubby .. They travel around in their jeep .. and always carry their candid camera .. they have a collection of her mischiefs and the people's reactions ..

It's hard to say which were more entertaining her sense of humor and practical jokes or the people's reactions when caught in those situations.

Be on the lookout .. you could be caught by the candid camera too .. and the DVD, both the person and disk records of what she did!

I'm back in Dubai after a short stint in Bombay and other places in India. Enjoyed the rains there and am now back to the usual sultry super-hot summer here.

While in India, some discussions happened about India being a third world country.

The term "third world" actually referred to the group of developing countries that followed the "developed economies" (free-trade rich countries, mainly the west European countries, Japan, Australia, the USA & Canada) which were called the "first world" and then the "iron curtain" communist bloc countries (including the USSR, China) which were called the "second world".

Now most of these first world countries aren't exactly exclusive and rich economies in the new millenium. Many middle-east countries have caught up with (or even exceeded) the economies and development of these countries (e.g., the UAE). The USA economy is suffering with adverse trade balance. Dollar has significantly slid down in the basket of world's major currencies. Japan is just getting "even" with the balance-of-trade situation, the earlier favorable surplus is getting eroded.

On the other hand, the economies of India and China are on a huge upswing. Rupee is gaining strength day by day. Trade balance and forex surplus are riding the crest. GDP growth rate of India is one of the highest.

Is India then really a third world country?

One stream of thoughts and views reclassified the world economies (and countries) differently. This stream newly defined the classes as,

Bloc one, countries in western hemisphere and in NATO alliance, mainly democratic regimes.

Bloc two, Islamic bloc, the countries where the governance is islam-based and most of these are straddled on oil & gas resources of the world.

Bloc three, the neutral democratic countries with high economic development. Would include pacific rim countries with democratic govts (incl Japan), India, Brazil, etc.

Bloc four, all other countries.

This classification seems reasonably accurate and fair. My own view point is that, though Indian economy is getting stone-solid, India is still suffering from "pocket" syndrome. The riches and population of India tend to get into "pockets" and don't come out once there. This causes unfair and uneven distribution of wealth and population. This is the major ill of the Indian society and it's mainly started by our governing systems and political leadership which the populace emulated.

Any thoughts on this from any of you???